We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
