you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
