There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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