Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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