That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
