windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
