where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
