How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize