so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
