I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Randomize
