is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
