now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
