No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
