Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
