Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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