I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
