I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
