didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
