My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
