Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Fuck appropriateness.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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