Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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