I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
