Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
