That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
