and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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