Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
