Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
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Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Watching her eat just hurts me
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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