Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
