Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
