I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Blood and glitter go together right?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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