I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i was born a porn star she said
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Randomize
