In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
