a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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