I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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