I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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