His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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