Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
