she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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