halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
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