Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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