O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
