I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
