I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
