I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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