Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
