you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
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i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
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We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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