Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
