Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize