i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
