Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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