Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
