You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
