She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
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My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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