i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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