You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize