I'm eating all of the evidence.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
