why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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