is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
