id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
