Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
