I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
