I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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