His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
