I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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