someone threw a dead crab at me
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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