I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
