I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
